All the progress I made before was basically worthless, because all the bad thoughts and feelings and actions are back more intensely than ever.. I’ve had some brutal stress in my life recently that I’m sort of chalking it up to – it doesn’t not make sense lets just put it that way. But I’m still so upset with myself that I gave in and couldn’t fight the anxiety and depression, and the urges that come so strongly with that.. It doesn’t help that I’m alone literally all day every day still. No more day program means no more forced but healthy social interaction and that makes for a very lonely me. You must think, everyone has friends though, and I do. They just all live so far away and I don’t really have anyone in my vicinity to just come and hang out when I need it. Thank god for FaceTime that’s all I have to say. My modelling usually helps me gain confidence but lately with all this stress I haven’t got the chance to and it’s really weighing me down. I feel like I look awful and I have zero self esteem right now; it’s like hello!? where did all my positivity and progress go all of the sudden, and how do I get it back???.