This Rut

Day in and day out it’s the same thing. I can’t remember the last time I did something out of the ordinary just for fun. I always used to have fun, now I’m bored with my life. I want to get out and do things, enjoy this beautiful weather. But I need friends to enjoy it with. I can’t just go out on my own; why do you think it got this bad in the first place? My mind is this inescapable prison. To me, going outside alone equals fear and anxiety and awful thoughts. I don’t have the support system I used to and it’s driving me mad. I have to get out of this rut. I can’t let my agoraphobia or anxiety keep me from living this life. I have no choice but to choke it down and try. I don’t want to run out of time and feel like I wasted it all. 

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